Well done Sophie, this is a very encouraging essay. There is a clear sense of argument and opinion and you identify the target audience and issues with the film's distribution patterm. You could improve by including statistics which link to initial budget and final box office, you could also mention the limiting factor associated with the certification of the film (18). Try to also consider the impact of being released after a film like The Raid which has a plot which is very similar.
Try and tidy up your final paragraph, I know what you are attempting to argue but it doesn't come across as clear as I would like.
Well done Sophie, this is a very encouraging essay. There is a clear sense of argument and opinion and you identify the target audience and issues with the film's distribution patterm. You could improve by including statistics which link to initial budget and final box office, you could also mention the limiting factor associated with the certification of the film (18). Try to also consider the impact of being released after a film like The Raid which has a plot which is very similar.
ReplyDeleteTry and tidy up your final paragraph, I know what you are attempting to argue but it doesn't come across as clear as I would like.
Well done.